Thanksgiving Weekend: A time of _____________
*Spending time with family, and judging the people you haven't seen in a while to see if they've gained more weight than you (I don't do this, but surely some people do.)
*Eating dinner anyway
*Playing games and talking till 2am
*Waking up at 4 to race the other fools to the stores (As a person who dislikes shopping in general, I don't love this part, but it beats taking care of the kids all day)
*Getting home and experiencing an anxiety attack when you realize that the men only pretended to take care of the kids all day, but were actually very busy sitting and/or sleeping: Question -"When was the last time anyone saw the baby?" Answer-"She was fooling around the garbage disposal, then putting forks in the electrical outlets. I think she headed out to play in the highway. You might want to go check. I'd do it, but I'm busy warming up the couch."
*Giving thanks for so many blessings (goes without saying...but I said it anyway)
*Spending time with family, and judging the people you haven't seen in a while to see if they've gained more weight than you (I don't do this, but surely some people do.)
*Sitting and watching so much football that your bum goes to sleep (if you're a man) or your teeth go to sleep (if you're a woman who's willing to sit with him while you're not fixing food)
*Thanking myself for getting my mother-in-law a good potato peeler as I peel 65 potatoes
*Eating so many snacks that dinner becomes a non-essential
*Eating so many snacks that dinner becomes a non-essential
*Eating dinner anyway
*Sitting around the dinner table digesting and talking - the only two things we can do at the same time when we're that stuffed
*Playing games and talking till 2am
*Waking up at 4 to race the other fools to the stores (As a person who dislikes shopping in general, I don't love this part, but it beats taking care of the kids all day)
*Witnessing peoples' baser natures take over in the fierce fight to spend money to save money
*Having a near-death experience - if you're lucky, that is- to save 50% off a Sesame Street toy that will be truly appreciated for exactly 15 seconds
*Getting home and experiencing an anxiety attack when you realize that the men only pretended to take care of the kids all day, but were actually very busy sitting and/or sleeping: Question -"When was the last time anyone saw the baby?" Answer-"She was fooling around the garbage disposal, then putting forks in the electrical outlets. I think she headed out to play in the highway. You might want to go check. I'd do it, but I'm busy warming up the couch."
Happy Thanksgiving!
3 comments:
a rundown of a bevans thanksgiving that does not include yelling, fighting, screaming or gossiping? How can this even be possible.
One Who Knows
I love it! This sounds much like the Thanksgivings I grew up with. Although my Grandma also didn't have a dish washer and if you were under 18 you were on dish duty. (there were a lot of us so you only had to take a turn doing like one sink full!) But it was so much fun. Oh and this was before we used plastic and paper!
Yelling (check)
screaming (check)
gossiping (a very large check)
fighting (yes, sadly a check)
One who knew.
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