A Lesson On Giving

In one of those "At my wit's end" moments a couple weeks ago, I told Brooke she would not get any Christmas gifts until she earned them back one by one. She was behaving pretty badly, and I thought of the worst punishment I could in the heat of the moment. I rarely go back on my word, but tonight I just had to.

Some background:

Brooke has had a hard time with the incentive programs that work so well for my other kids. She just doesn't seem to care enough about earning or losing points so it doesn't work too well for me or her. Because she never earned more points the she lost, she never had any to redeem for money. This created a small problem when she wanted to get gifts for her sisters for Christmas. We came up with creative ideas of things she could make, but one of the things would've cost more to make than to purchase, so I made a deal with her. I would purchase the gift for her to give to Sophie in exchange for her keeping her room clean between then and Christmas day. No fighting. No whining. No excuses.

Today she didn't get it cleaned. She got distracted and just forgot. When I put them to bed, I pointed out to her that she hadn't held up her end of the bargain, so the deal was off. No gift for Brooke to give to Sophie.

She was devastated. But the girl has to learn that there are consequences to her actions (be aware that this is not the first time we've had this kind of problem - she is remarkably stubborn when she wants to be, and I feel a need to hold a firm line with her). I couldn't help but feel sympathy for her though. My mother heart wanted to cry out, "Never mind! You can still have it, just clean it up tomorrow!" My prison-warden mind wanted to cry out, "You buttered your bread, now sleep in it!"

When my heart and mind came to an understanding, I gave Brooke an option. A test of sorts. "Between now and Christmas, I will let you work to earn back EITHER your gift to give to Sophie, OR your Christmas presents." Without hesitation, with something between relief and desperation in her voice she answered, "I want to earn back Sophie's present!"

I think at that moment my mother heart silenced my warden mind on this one. How can I take from her the opportunity to give? Her ever-compassionate sister Janelle (after witnessing the entire exchange) begged me to let Brooke at least have the gift from her. I realized then how important it was for both of them, and all of us, to be on the giving end; that giving heartfelt gifts is a way that we show Christlike love for others. Brooke wasn't as concerned about missing out on her gifts, but they are representative of other people's love for her, and I shouldn't interfere with that in the name of discipline. Completely overcome by their remarkable displays of selflessness, for maybe the second time as their mother, I gave in.

I think I did the right thing.

Nonsense

Claire: Where's Dad?
Me: He's at work.
Claire: Which work?
Me: His work.
Claire: No. I mean, WHICH work?
Me: HIS work. DAD'S work. Dad's at his work.
Claire: Which dad?

I give up.

Should I Be Worried...

that my daughter begged to wear this to school today?

Ugly Christmas Sweater to the power of at least 3, maybe 4, with a reindeer head out the front and a reindeer butt (presumably belonging to the same reindeer) coming out the back.

(terrible picture quality, I know. The flash didn't go off and there's only so much photoshopping can do with too little light)

Merry Christmas to all! May your cocoa be hot, may your family be crazy, and of course, may your sweaters be ugly!

Well THAT'S Not Good Advertising..

I stumbled across a mom question/answer site in which a person had asked if the "My Baby Can Read" program was any good. From the following reply I'm thinking, probably not (unless baby's a genius and it's just mom who's an idiot)

Not So Smart Person - posted 6 days ago
I recommend the program 150% I had it used it luv’d it!!! Unfortunately it got stolen & I have to replace it!!! If u use it rite it is an amazing tool young minds especially in the first 3yrs r so eager to learn. Iv seen it used with a couple children and it really effects every aspect of their development, how they behave and handle them selves is amazing. My son is constantly learning and using the skills “My baby Can Read’ at hme & in the out side world. He new how to read Nose, mouth, teeth ECT new where they where on his face and other ppls face’s along with animals faces before 6mo. His vocab is very high thanx to the programs tools!! He loves the video’s books, flash cards he brings them to me. He helps other children learn and which way to read left 2 right, very cute.. U will here 4rm ppl that it’s a scam yadda, yadda, yadda but that’s because they dnt have it!! Some of the bad things ppl… who haven’t used the program. seem to always resort back to it’s just memorizing. Well sorry no it’s not just memorizing, and yes to a point memorizing can be a little harmful and that is because young brains are taking in so much input that they have to prune out other skills that they r not using and that’s where us as parents come in and support them by providing a balance so they are not pruning out skills they need. & really come on we all start of learning something by memory and then we build of it. Ppl say that it doesn’t teach phonics yes it does with r help try it and then say that phonics isn’t being taught!! Great program as long as us as parents us it correctly. Also I really recommend Leap Frog Letter Factory!! It really helped my son learn his ABC’s and their sounds.


I think I lost count of the grammatical, spelling, and other errors somewhere around 33 (ok, I counted obvious abbreviations, but they were annoying). Methinks she did not do that company any favors!

Stuff, etc.

A lot has been going on around here lately, but no one thing seems blog-worthy, so I decided to combine a bunch of tidbits together and maybe I'll end up with something substantial.

Eden - 10 months old today - she had another urology appointment and kidney ultrasound. Everything looks good, and she hasn't had any bladder infections for a while so we're hoping she's on her way to a healthy urinary tract!

Claire makes me laugh. Everyone is getting a version of this for Chrismas from her:

They're scraps of fabric taped together into animal shapes. This one is for Sophie. It's a giraffe - can't you tell? If you want one too, I can let her know and I'm sure she'd be happy to make more.



This is what I spent my morning doing with her:

I forgot how much fun it is to play with Barbies! My favorite was this:

We had a Ken that had lost his legs, so she decided it was Casey McAllister (which won't mean much to those of you who don't know him), and she put him in a wheelchair/stroller :) I sure hope that's not offensive...

At church a couple weeks ago Claire wanted to share her testimony -which she did- but I wish she'd done it the way she told it to me:

"I know Heavenly Father and Jesus love me... Oh! And Santa."

She had an eye appointment recently and there has not been any significant improvement in her eye alignment. She will probably be needing surgery again in January. Hopefully this time it will take.

Last week we accompanied Todd to Tillamook for the day. While he was in court we went to a Pioneer museum. It was pretty fascinating! I was quite impressed by all the things Claire had learned from Disney movies. In a display with old instruments I pointed out and told her about the mandolins. "Oh, like they play in Freaking Booty?" "Yeah, like that" (the scene where the servants or some people are getting drunk and falling asleep while the kings are arguing). Then later was a display of the evolution of washing machines. I showed her the washboard and tub and told her how they were used, but she already knew. "Like in 'The Little Mermaid' when Sebastian is stuck in the clothes they're washing?" Right again!

Brooke and Janelle have been taking an afterschool class called "Taiwan Buddies" where they learn about the culture, language and history of Taiwan. They are also going to get a chance to meet a student from Taiwan and communicate with them via Skype. Wow - isn't technology amazing? There was a limited number of students who got in so Janelle missed out until another kid dropped out and she was able to drop in.

Sophie just had her first band concert last night - definitely the best first year band I've ever heard play. It was pretty impressive what they've all learned in just a couple months, and they did a great job staying together as a band and all that.

I've run out of steam, and probably more importantly, money, on all my home improvement projects. But since it's Christmas time I would've had to take a break on it anyway. When I get a chance after the holidays I'd still like to put up crown molding, re-decorate the dining room and do all kinds of things in the family room. I got a bunch of fabric to do crafts with as well but my sewing machine broke and I can't get it fixed anywhere that doesn't charge more than it originally cost, so those projects are on hold too.

Two crying kids is my cue to go, so bye till later!