No One

No One in my house:

Lost the bottom of the camping lantern when the power went off

Broke a vase from my wedding

Always eats all the cereal

Left dirty dishes in the office, not once, not twice, but 10 gazillion times

Took the zit cream from my bathroom

Returned the zit cream to the wrong place

Misplaced Claire's ballet shoes

Lost the H to the alphabet sound toy

Ate the food that spilled on the rug that kids are forbidden to eat on

Keeps eating the chocolate chips

Drew on the bench

Scratched the desk

Ate the rest of the Goldfish

Made any of the messes

Antique Dorks

In order to make sure I don't forget, I have to take a few moments to write down this story.  I went to an antique store with a couple of friends yesterday, and we had a laugh over an old framed daguerreotype (probably circa mid 1800's) which looked something like this (thanks to my photoshopping skills):

My friend made the observation that it was probably the only photograph this man would have in his lifetime and, as luck would have it, his eyes were crossed.  Ok, it was more likely a genetic thing going on with his eyes, but it makes a better story to think that during his once-in-a-lifetime photographic moment he made a dumb face.  Puts your bad middle school picture into perspective, doesn't it?


So then my friend is reminded of an ancestor's picture with a story behind it.  Evidently, the man refused to pose for a photograph his whole life, so when he died, someone drew eyes on his eyelids and THAT'S how he's represented for generations since.  I imagine (again, thanks to my photoshopping skills) that it looks something like this (and if I ever get a copy of the actual photograph, I'll be uploading it for posterity):

I'll assume you're intelligent enough to figure out what the moral of the story is.