A Discourse on Fashion

Not that I really care about fashion that much, but someone’s got to explain to me what teenagers are thinking nowadays (Is that what our parents said about my generation? Probably.) I sub at the local middle school from time to time, and have seen the same outfit with minor variations for the past couple of years: ill-fitting “skinny” jeans paired with an ugly printed hoodie sweatshirt. Oh, and don’t forget the huge skater shoes, and that’s on the girls.

When I was in high school, it was all about the grunge look: baggy pants and an oversized flannel. I took grunge to a new level personally, not ever wearing makeup and often pulling my hair into a pony tail without so much as combing it first. I’m surprised I didn’t start to get dreadlocks. Notwithstanding the gross quality of that look, I can still see the wisdom in it. It was comfortable and had a full-coverage quality about it. Bodysuits were a short-lived trend during that time, short-lived I think because it violated those two basic principles. Also, who wants snaps in their crotch?

Even in the Seventies – notorious for bad fashion – there is some sense to the look. Bellbottoms and jumpsuits elongated the silhouette. These one-piece suits were heinous, but at least they were convenient. There were some nasty plaids during that time, but as plaids are back in style, it looks like we’re falling for that one all over again. (Actually, I really like that jumper, and I'm kind of diggin' that diagonal striped sweater too.)

But nowadays, I don't see any sense in the styles. They’re not comfortable – jeans that tight can’t possibly be. They’re not full-coverage – I’ve seen too many cracks to believe that. And they don’t do much for the silhouette of a female. It's just not the least bit attractive. I mean, who wants to look like Spongebob Squarepants?

On the up-side though, it’s GOT to cut down on teenage pregnancies, right?