Plan of Attack

So I've been doing some research on mice to try to determine what exactly we need to be prepared for, and specifically, how quickly their army will increase. What I discovered leads me to believe I have to be very proactive in making sure that whatever mouse or mice are out there do not reproduce.

Unlike Mickey and Minnie who have been a couple since the 50's but have never had children, most mice reproduce as young as 1 1/2 months of age, and up to 6 times during their yearlong life cycle. Each litter averages 6 critters. Presumably they have no social code that prevents them from becoming intimate with siblings or cousins, so doing the math, you can end up with an infestation pretty quickly if you don't act on it.

First order of business, set out the traps. Todd did that yesterday, but so far nothing has set them off except the dog in an unwise attempt to get at the peanut butter (who, lucky for her, didn't get caught in it).

Next order of business, ensure that the atmosphere is distinctly unromantic in an attempt to prevent rodent reproduction. I've removed all candles and banned romantic movies from being played in the garage. There used to be a book on sensual massage out there somewhere, so I've moved that too (onto Todd's pillow). John Mayer CD's, check. Absolutely NO alcohol! (I know, there wasn't any to begin with). The only remaining issue is the dress up clothes. I don't know what kind of kinky stuff they may be into, but I don't really want to bring all that in because it's a big box and the clothes kinda smell like dog. Perhaps that will be enough of a deterrent on its own.

Frankly, though, I don't know what kind of girl, mouse or not, would be attracted by a man who poops all over the place and lives in it. He may be his own obstacle. Heaven knows he's not the only male with that problem!