I used to be wise and all-knowing....
now I'm sort of an idiot.
I used to be beautiful like a princess...
now my hair doesn't look right and my outfit doesn't match.
I used to save the day like a superhero...
now I'm the mean one who makes you walk to school in the rain.
I used to have all the right answers...
now the truth lies somewhere else out there.
I used to be the best mom in the whole world....
now so and so's mom is looking like a better option.
I used to be tall and regal...
now I'm short and flabby.
I used to cook the best food ever...
now why does it always have to be so (ugh) healthy.
I used to know all of her favorite things....
now I only know the things that are "so 5th grade, mom."
I used to be the bearer of hugs and lullaby's...
now I'm a trespasser in her bedroom.
I used to inspire her towards motherhood...
now it doesn't look like a very attractive idea.
Well, missy, you better listen up and listen up good, because I have something to say to you:
I still love you.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Merry Christmas 2011
Our Year in Repairs and Replacements:
Please note that this is not a plea for
charity, it is simply most characteristic of our past year!
January:
Washing machine leaving black streaks on
clothes. Been doing that for a while to
all of Todd’s white dress shirts, but it wasn’t until it started ruining my
favorite baby clothes that I took action.
Sorry, white dress shirts, it’s just that you’re replaceable. Advice from friends and experts suggests we
need a new washer. After a lot of
research and treasure hunting on Craigslist, we were lucky enough to find a
great refurbished washing machine at Lowes.
Roof leaking, staining inside walls
(weird) had Mighty Mike check it out (Mighty Mike's Handyman Services - Big or
Small we do it All!). He found that the air vents from the bathrooms weren't
connected or installed properly so the water leak was from that. Gross job -
glad it wasn't me doing it.
February:
Roof leaking again, different spot.
Called Mike again. He found some of the roof around the chimney not done
properly. We tried to track down the roofers that installed it in the first
place when we bought the house, but, shockingly, they were out of business.
March:
Trees ridiculously overgrown. Been a
problem for a while, but I kept expecting Todd to do something about it. Put
wishful thinking back in the closet and asked Mike if he did tree trimming too.
Yep, he did, and for a lot better than other companies (no, this is not an
advertisement for Mighty Mike's Handyman Services - if you call him, he'll be
too busy for us, and he's practically my BFF so back off and find your own
handyman if you didn’t marry one.) A lot of tree trimming and landscaping later
and we can see our backyard again! Of course, if we'd known what the rest of
the year would bring we would've ignored it again.
April:
It's high time to mow the lawn, but the
lawn mower won't stay on for more than a couple seconds, even when it's not
cutting anything. So I put on some spandex and heels and flirt with the
handyman again. Not working at all (the lawn mower, not the spandex - I'm
working them just fine, thank you very much!) It's not even fixable so we start
shopping for a lawn mower. No time to lose in choosing one since the kids need
a survival kit just to play in the backyard.
May:
Microwave dies. In spite of cancerous warnings about
microwave ovens, we kind of like them.
June:
Dryer can't keep up with washer. Takes 3
drying cycles on average to dry one load. Getting very annoying very quickly.
See dryer that matches new washer at Costco. I've never enjoyed laundry so
much!
July:
Low tires, usually just a nail stuck in
the tire and Les Schwab'll
take care of it in no time. No such luck this time. Tire tread is really low on
two tires, and getting close on the other two. We replace the two worst ones
and make a mental note to get the other two fixed before our trip to Mt
Rushmore.
Insert trip to Mt Rushmore for family
reunion.
While traveling, an old intermittent
problem with the blinkers and headlights becomes a constant nuisance and safety
issue. When I signal left, the car blinks right, or not at all, and vice versa. Also
sometimes the headlights will turn off in the middle of driving or not turn on
at all. I'm certain every car on the
road behind us, from Oregon to South Dakota and back again,
cursed the moron driver in the blue van. Make appointment to get it fixed
promptly on arriving (miraculously) safely home. Not entirely sure the check
will clear...
August:
Attempt to make a quick trip up to Washington for niece's
baptism. Suddenly reminded that we never got those other two tires replaced
when one of them suddenly peels off on I-5 near Tigard at 6:00 in the morning. Scary! You've seen those
strips of tire left on the side of the highway? I always wondered how that
happens, now I know. We limped to the nearest Les Schwab. Unfortunately, tires not on sale anymore :(
Curious mounds of dirt found in back
yard. Thought maybe it was kids not willing to fess up to unauthorized digging,
or maybe the dog, although that's not her MO. Hoping it will go away on its
own. It didn’t. We finally decide it must be an underground
pest. Call a local company to check it out. They determine it is a mole and we
set up appointments for the following week to have said mole evicted.
Unidentified water discovered on floor
between the freezer and the water heater. Maybe it's from wet towels or melted
ice or a spill or whatever. It gets ignored until it, like the mole hills, does
not go away on its own. After a little investigation we discover the hot water
pipe going into the house has a leak. As Seen On TV product Mighty Putty: not
effective. Mighty Mike: effective. On go
the spandex, out comes the checkbook. In the process of disconnecting the leaky
pipe, he discovers some major issues with the water heater itself. What!? Water
heaters don't last forever? He also found some electrical work needed to be
done as it had not previously been hooked up to code. Momentarily distressed by
the additional costs we would accrue, I decided the moles would
have to wait. Upon hearing about the moles, Mike suggested putting Juicy Fruit
in the holes - said it worked for his father-in-law. Evidently they can't
digest it, so it kills them. It's worth a shot! Took several weeks, but
eventually they either died or moved on to the neighbors’ yard. Either way, problem solved!
Cost of water heater: $460
Electrician: $120
Supplies:$40
Mighty Putty: $10
Mighty Mike: $30
Juicy Fruit: $3.00
Alternative mole extermination: $265 less
$3= savings of $262
Going without hot water for five days:
priceless
While driving home from a boating trip
some idiot (maybe it was me) wasn't paying attention when the driver in front
of them stopped and thus caused a low speed, but pretty messed up rear-ending
accident. Fortunately idiot, passengers and other driver were all uninjured.
Car not so lucky. Thank heaven for insurance when you need it. Not so thankful for hiked up insurance rates.
September:
While getting tires replaced back in August, we are cautioned that
the brakes are in need of replacement.
Routine transmission service due as well
Monitor not working. I
thought it was my eyes, so I’m glad it was just the monitor.
October:
Todd’s laptop for work had been having problems for a little while
and finally bites the dust. What can you
do? We shrug our shoulders, head up to
Fry’s and pretend we have money.
Family room carpet in dire need of removal due to the longtime
Bevans tradition “Spill of the day”.
After tearing it out and uncovering the antique brown linoleum
underneath we wonder why we couldn’t be one of those houses that discovers
immaculate hardwood instead. Best
replacement option to be compatible with the “Spill of the day” tradition is
probably a laminate that will match the rest of the floor in the house. After much searching, we found a good match
through Simple Floors in Portland. Two trips up to Portland later, we have
everything we need and are ready to install.
November:
Dishwasher chokes and dies.
Saw that one coming. Hand washing
for a family of seven really cramps my style.
Paper cups and plates are looking more attractive daily. If only I wasn’t a tree hugger at heart!
Before it died, the dishwasher took a leak and took portions of the
floor down with it. Thanks a million,
dishwasher! Guess we’ll replace that too
when we finally get the floor finished.
December:
A friendly semi-truck shot a rock into my windshield, leaving a chip
that developed into a nice long crack as soon as the temperature dropped. So THAT’S why you’re supposed to take care of
those chips right away!
Heavy rains revealed new leak in roof out in the garage.
Vacuum cleaner mysteriously turns into dust blower. We resort to using the hose of a Shop Vac for
all our vacuuming needs. Incidentally,
it’s not even our Shop Vac. If you know
it’s yours and remember that we’ve been “storing” it for you for about 10 years,
you can retrieve it if you can pay the storage fee of $499.99 before the sale
on Dysons is over.
Merry Christmas and may the New Year last at least a month before
stuff starts breaking!
Love,
The Bevans Family
Todd, Alli, Sophie (12), Janelle (10), Brooke (10), Claire (5), Eden
(1 ½)
Friday, October 14, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
"A Mildly Enjoyable Moment from the Lawrence Welk Show"
Yet another "talent" show came and went and of course I couldn't pass up the opportunity to do something that might possibly embarrass my children, so here it is.
The original SNL Lawrence Welk Show Spoof (my apologies for whatever obnoxious commercial you have to sit through - oh and if the video doesn't load, try refreshing the page - it worked for me):
Our attempt:
And my favorite version:
Friday, September 9, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
When it Rains, it Pours
First off, I want to make it clear that this post is not me complaining. I am not having a pity party. I am not accepting financial contributions to the "Poor Me" charity fund. On the contrary, I look back on the past year in awe that somehow, some way we're still hanging in there! I'm only writing because I feel like it has to be acknowledged. We have had so many repairs and replacements this year it's unreal! I made a list the other day and if it weren't so expensive it would be funny. Here's a rough idea of what it looks like:
January - Washing machine leaving black streaks on clothes - been doing it for a while to all Todd's white dress shirts, but it wasn't until it started ruining my favorite baby clothes that I took action (sorry, white dress shirts -it's just that you're replaceable). Advice from knowledgeable people suggests we need a new washer. After a lot of research and treasure hunting on Craigslist, I was lucky to find a great refurbished one at Lowes for $330 (regular price $700, so - YAY!)
-Roof leaking, staining inside walls (weird) had Mighty Mike check it out (Mighty Mike's Handyman Services - Big or Small We do it All!). He found that the air vents from the bathrooms weren't connected or installed properly so the water leak was from that. Gross job - glad it wasn't me doing it. Cost $60
February - Roof leaking again, different spot. Called Mike again. He found some of the roof around the chimney not done properly. We tried to track down the roofers that installed it in the first place when we bought the house, but, shockingly, they were out of business. Got it fixed for around $110
March- Trees ridiculously overgrown. Been a problem for a while, but I kept expecting Todd to do something about it. Put wishful thinking back in the closet and asked Mike if he did tree trimming too. Yep, he did, and for a lot better than other companies (no, this is not an advertisement for Mighty Mike's Handyman Services - if you call him, he'll be too busy for us, and he's practically my BFF so back off and find your own.) A lot of tree trimming and landscaping later and we can see our backyard again! Of course, if we'd known what the rest of the year would bring we would've ignored it again. $700 (ouch, but thank you!)
April - It's high time to mow the lawn, but the lawn mower won't stay on for more than a couple seconds, even when it's not cutting anything. So I put on my spandex jumpsuit 
and call Mike again. Not working at all (the lawn mower, not the spandex - I'm working them just fine, thank you very much!) It's not even fixable so we start shopping for a lawn mower. No time to lose in choosing one since the kids keep getting lost in the backyard (like Bacio's once said when their yard was overgrown, "we send them out with a compass and flares just in case"). Home Depot has a better selection than Lowe's on lawn mowers so we get one that's not the dirt cheapest but not top of the line either. Runs us $350
and call Mike again. Not working at all (the lawn mower, not the spandex - I'm working them just fine, thank you very much!) It's not even fixable so we start shopping for a lawn mower. No time to lose in choosing one since the kids keep getting lost in the backyard (like Bacio's once said when their yard was overgrown, "we send them out with a compass and flares just in case"). Home Depot has a better selection than Lowe's on lawn mowers so we get one that's not the dirt cheapest but not top of the line either. Runs us $350
May - Is it possible we had no major repairs in May? We probably did but I can't remember.
June - Dryer can't keep up with washer. Takes 3 drying cycles on average to dry one load! Getting very annoying very quickly. See dryer that matches my amazing washer at Costco. No $330 deal this time, but it's still $100+ less than a new one anywhere else. $580 later I have a dryer to match my washer. I've never enjoyed laundry so much!
July - Low tires, usually just a nail stuck in the tire and Les Schwab'll take care of it in no time. No such luck this time. Tire tread is really low on two tires, and getting close on the other two. We replace the two worst ones and make a mental note to get the other two fixed before our trip to Mt Rushmore. Two tires - $250 on sale.
-Insert trip to Mt Rushmore- (I don't want to talk about how much that cost, it'll ruin how much fun it was)
-While travelling, an old intermittent problem with the blinkers and headlights becomes a constant nuisance and safety issue. When I signal left, the car blinks right, or not at all, and vice versa. Also sometimes the headlights will turn off in the middle of driving or not turn on at all! I'm certain every car on the road behind us, from Oregon to South Dakota and back again, cursed the moron driver in the blue van. Make appointment to get it fixed promptly on arriving (miraculously) safely home. Not entirely sure the $250 check will clear...
August - Attempt to make a quick trip up to Washington for niece's baptism. Suddenly reminded that we never got those other two tires replaced when one of them suddenly peels off on I-5 near Tigard at 6:00 in the morning. Scary! You've seen strips of tire left on the side of the highway? I always wondered how that happens, now I know. We limped to the nearest Les Schwab and gave up hope on making it to Washington in time. Dang - tires not on sale anymore :( $275
-Curious mounds of dirt found in back yard. Thought maybe it was kids not fessing up to unauthorized digging, or maybe the dog, although that's not her MO. Not going away so we finally decide it must be an underground pest. Call a local company to check it out. They determine it is a mole and we set up appointments for the following week to have said mole evicted. Initial visit free, payment due at next appointment.
-Unidentified water discovered on floor between the freezer and the water heater. Maybe it's from wet towels or melted ice or a spill or whatever. It gets ignored until it too is clear that it will not go away on its own. After a little investigation we discover the hot water pipe going into the house has a leak. As Seen On TV product Mighty Putty- not effective...Mighty Mike -effective. On go the spandex, out comes the checkbook. In the process of disconnecting the leaky pipe, he discovers some major issues with the water heater itself. What!? Water heaters don't last forever? Apparently it was pretty dangerous. There was water soaking the insulation and all up near the electrical panel. Grateful that it was discovered before something much worse than a leaky pipe happened, we did some research and went with a water heater that Mike recommended. He also found some electrical work needed to be done as it had not previously been hooked up to code. Momentarily distressed by the additional costs we would accrue: water heater, electrician, Mike's bill and the dumb moles, I decided the moles would have to wait. Upon hearing about the moles, Mike suggested putting Juicy Fruit in the holes - said it worked for his father-in-law. Evidently they can't digest it, so it kills them. Or the version for the more sensitive reader: they consider it a parting gift and graciously take it and move on to greener pastures (or dirtier holes). It's worth a shot! No immediate success, but it's been slowing down and I haven't seen a mound in over a week now, so we'll see.
Cost of water heater: $460
Electrician: $120
Supplies:$40
Mighty Putty: $10
Mighty Mike: $30
Juicy Fruit: $3.00
Alternative mole extermination: $265 less $3= savings of $262
Going without hot water for five days: priceless
-While driving home from a boating trip some idiot wasn't paying attention when the driver in front of them stopped and thus caused a nasty rear-ending accident. Fortunately idiot, passengers and other driver were all uninjured. Car not so lucky. Deductible - $500 (hiked up insurance rates - TBD)
It's September 5th today and so far this month we have not had anything break...
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