Anxiety Dreams

The dreams I remember the most often are my anxiety dreams - can't remember my locker combination, a big project is due that I wasn't prepared for, I don't know my class schedule - they're mostly high school settings for whatever reason. In college I often had dreams around test time that I wasn't prepared for the test, so my brain would go over and over my study sheets in my sleep - the extra studying was a bonus, for sure.

Todd doesn't get anxious about much of anything, so I guess I do that for him. He has to take the bar in July and I'm really nervous for him. So I had a dream the other night that I took him to the place and we had to go through all these stations filling out paperwork and such. At the last one, they had him strip down to make sure he wasn't carrying in anything with him, then they gave him a packet of clothes to put on. In my dream, he kept messing up with his underwear. I thought, if the man can't figure out how to put on his underwear, how is he ever going to pass the bar??!! Luckily the questions on the bar were all about Michael Jackson though, so it was a lot easier than we had anticipated :)

How Great of a Father Are You?

For Father's Day this year, I thought I ought to make up a quiz to weed out the ones who don't deserve a new tie or bbq set in honor of the day anyway. Give this to the fathers in your life and see who makes the cut:

1. Have you ever appeared on the Maury Povich show to determine paternity?

A. Never. I know who my children are and I support them in every way possible

B. Twice, but only as a guest to heckle the losers on stage

C. Several times, but I don't care what the DNA test shows. I'm with Michael Jackson, "The kid is not my son."

2. When your kids want a little of your time and attention do you:

A. Stop what you're doing and give a little love - after all, they're only young once

B. Give them love and attention but only during commercials

C. Tell them to go play in the street

3. When your children need it, how willing are you to change diapers?

A. Anytime - I don't want a rashy tushy on my conscience

B. Only when mother, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends were ALL unavailable and I can't get the kid to go stink up a room I'm not in

C. I'd do it, but I've been claiming ignorance for the past 5 years and I don't want to screw it up now.

4. For your child's birthday parties, do you typically:

A. Sing the loudest, take the best pictures and eat the most cake

B. Hang around if it's convenient, and maybe dish up ice cream when mom's desperate for help

C. I haven't been invited since the one I got drunk at and threw up on the birthday girl.

5. When your daughter makes a childish craft as a gift for you do you:

A. Receive it with enthusiasm and gratitude

B. Smile, nod, ask what it is, then toss it when she's not looking

C. Tell her what you really wanted was a new computer, but thanks anyway.

6. When your child was learning to ride a bike did you:

A. Patiently hold onto the seat and run alongside until he got the hang of it

B. Swear on the bible that you would hold onto the seat and run alongside until he got the hang of it and let go as soon as he believed you

C. Take him to the top of a hill and push him down - kind of like birds do when it's time to fly

7. For bedtime stories do you:

A. Read her favorite book no less than 4 times in a row every night for 6 months

B. Read the first page, skip a few, read a middle page, skip a few, and read the last page - The End!

C. Try to stop further bedtime story inquiries by saying, "Once upon a time, there was a kid who wanted a bedtime story, but a bad man named Freddy Krueger threatened to eat him up if he ever asked for one again. The end. Remind me to show you who Freddy is tomorrow, okay?"

8. When the kids are getting annoying do you usually:

A. Have a gentle one-on-one talk about appropriate behavior

B. Tell them to "Knock it off" repeatedly until they are finally sent to their room to save your sanity

C. List them on ebay for $9.99 obo

9. When you bought a playset for the backyard, how long was it before you put it up?

A. Immediately - that's why we got it and we didn't to lose any time the kids could have playing and making memories together

B. We got it early spring and had it up just before the rainy season started in the fall

C. After a few months, I figured the box was enough fun for the little brats

10. When your son needs help with his homework do you:

A. Explain the question and help him work through the answer?

B. Tell him to ask his mother

C. Tell him, "What are those worthless teachers doing all day anyway? I pay my taxes for them to do their job and they can't even teach a dolt of a kid like you what 2+2 is? What do you think I am - some kind of math genius!?"

Scoring:

Mostly A's - Congratulations, you deserve every tie, bbq set, bear hug and sloppy kiss you've ever gotten!

Mostly B's - Hmmm, needs work. Your children are clearly not one of your top priorities and they may turn into rotten teenagers if you don't change your ways soon.

Mostly C's - First, make an appointment to get snipped. Second, grow up - it's not all about you anymore. Third, say hi to Maury for me and ask how Connie and the kids are.

Family Pictures 2009

Our friend Jef Hatch graciously offered to take some pictures for our family last month Now I'm stuck with the arduous task of trying to decide which to get printed up large to put in our living room. I've narrowed it down to a few and put a poll on the sidebar ---------->

12
3

Please vote for your favorite - Thanks!!

Would-a, Should-a, Could-a

I know it sounds great to say you've lived your life with no regrets, but come on, if you think hard enough, everybody has a list of things, big or small, that they wish they'd never done. In no particular order, here are some of mine:


1. Showing my sister's underwear to her date when he came to pick her up for the 8th Grade Dinner Dance. That was just mean.

2. Telling Todd to expect me to be a "wild woman" after we were married. I don't actually remember this, but he insists it's true and feels like it was a definite "bait and switch" situation.



3. Being unconciously heartless to a good friend - many instances I'm sure, but only a few that I think I'm aware of. So if you think I was ever heartless to you, I'm sorry. I feel really bad about it now :(


4. Hitting my sister's friend's car and pretending it wasn't me. (shame shame, know my name!) At least I did finally confess and get it off my conscience.



5. Using silk flowers at my wedding - what was I THINKING!!??




6. Yelling at my kids - every time it happens.



7. Eating a friend's gift of strawberry pie with a fellow conspirator, then telling her we didn't receive it so she'd make us another one. She let us know how she felt about that in no uncertain terms.



8. Getting annoyed by a friend playing with my bra strap, and accidentally punching her in the head and ever so slightly cracking her skull. Whoops!



9. Putting a hot pizza box on my new table. Ruined the finish forever. grrrrr
10. Losing contact with old friends. I'm grateful, though, for those I've been able to keep in touch or reconnect with.



11. My naivete when opening the door to an older man who didn't speak English, assuming he needed to use the phone, then assuming he wanted to pay me for using the phone when he pulled out a $20 and motioned toward my open bedroom door. Regretful, AND offended- Twenty bucks??!!


12. Not trying out for American Idol before I turned 30 - I could've been a star!!

Light on the Sugar, Heavy on the Spice

What are little girls made of,

What are little girls made of?

Sugar and spice and all things nice,

That's what little girls are made of.

With 4 girls, you might be under the false impression that we overflow with sweetness around here. This is not the case. I know they look all cuteness and innocence, but there's a lot more spice that the average outsider doesn't see.

I actually think I've created an environment that breeds arguments - and subsequently, talented arguers. It's normal, I know. Kids will disagree. But I'd really like them to learn how to disagree respectfully. Well, we haven't quite reached respectability, but there is an art form at work here that's admirable in its sophistication.

I don't know how many people will WANT an extra dose of the sound of children fighting, but just in case there is such a niche in the population, I've got it covered.

(WARNING: This video may cause headaches)

Arguing 101:

The Final Countdown

One more week till we can officially be done with all things Law School!! (and next... the Bar Exam)

When Your Garbage Tells A Story

It was August 28, 1998 and I was 2 months pregnant with my first baby. I'd had trouble eating much of anything for several weeks. I became obsessed with food as I constantly needed it, but just as constantly hated it.

One date night, Todd and I had gone to the Olive Garden for dinner. I had some manicotti that was a little taste of heaven. It was the first food in a long time that I enjoyed and kept down. Two for two! After that night, I craved manicotti for days. But the Olive Garden was a good 45 minute drive away from where we lived. So I decided to try a TV dinner substitute instead. We headed to Cub Foods and found the closest thing we could to manicotti: Marie Callendar's Stuffed Pasta meal.

I was practically drooling with anticipation the whole ride home. I was so hungry, and here was something that sounded really good to eat. Hastily I took the food out of its box, read the directions and popped it in the microwave. Antsy with anticipation, I watched the timer count down the seconds till all my dreams would come true. (You might think I'm exaggerating, but that's really how I felt at the time). The moment the microwave beeped, I pulled out the dinner tray and SPLAT! dropped it on the floor because it was too hot.

Oh the devastation! The utter despair! The complete and total tragedy! I knelt down next to my deceased dinner and wept. At that point Todd knew I'd lost it and promptly offered to rush back to the store to purchase another one. Perhaps because he was a kindly and obliging gentleman, perhaps because he feared to stick around and find out what the sobbing lump he called his wife would do next.

Somehow I pulled myself together. After fighting the urge to eat it straight off the floor, I appeased my raging hunger with some tater tots Todd had put in the oven earlier.Fifteen minutes later, Todd burst through the door ready to be my knight in shining armor, TV dinner in hand! He undoubtedly found me with a tater tot in my hand and ketchup on my face. Meekly I answered the confused and dejected look on his face. "I don't want that anymore," I said.

And ever since that day, I have NEVER been able to stomach the mere thought of eating stuffed pasta. Even from the Olive Garden.

Just now I found the receipt from that day among some old sheet music. Amazing how of all the random garbage that somehow survives ten plus years and two moves, that that particular piece actually represents a change in my life: The day I went from loving cheesy stuffed pasta to hating it. Would that all my garbage could tell such tales.