Bee in My Bonnet

Whenever I feel the need to start a project (or twelve), I get sort of obsessed with it and everything else falls apart around me. Such is our life right now. We're scrounging every night for dinner and I haven't done the laundry in a while, but I've got a bee in my bonnet, as Todd likes to accuse me, and I want to complete all these ideas I have floating around in my head while I have the motivation to do it. I haven't completed all of them, but here are some before and afters of my plans, photoshopped with my limited skills to give me an idea of what it'll look like, and so I can sell the idea to my husband who would kind of prefer I leave everything alone so I have more time for him :) I'll post pictures of the finished projects if they don't turn out crappy and if I ever actually get them done.

Garage door as is:

Garage door makeover with contrast trim and gate hardware for the "carriage door" look. It's a trick finding hardware, particularly hinges, that will work since the door still needs to bend to go up and down. I'm thinking I may have to fake it with thin pieces of wood painted glossy black cut to the size I need. I hope it works!

Outdoor curb appeal: here is the house as is:

Outdoor makeover: Besides the garage door, we added window boxes, will need to replace the tree that died this summer and will need to do some minor landscaping.

or maybe with black doors? any opinions?

Bathroom (one step past "before" as I had already started to re-do the countertop before I took the picture)

Bathroom black and white makeover with black paint (I know, BLACK?! - but it's just paint, and I think I really like it), a chair rail with white on bottom and a zebra print rug which I plan on taking back from Todd's office.

Dining room as is:

I've decided it's time to lighten things up a little with a chair rail and frame moulding on the bottom of the wall and a light aqua color on the top. If I can find a salvage chandelier I can fix up I'd like to do that, and I have some orange-ish chair cushions I'm coveting right now, although they probably won't become a reality for a while as they don't fit into the super-cheap redo category.
This is a little project I did last week since I already had all the stuff I needed on hand and I was antsy to get something done. No before picture, but it was just a plain white door out to our garage, which just so happens to be where we keep our food storage, so it made sense to do this pantry chalkboard here:

and a close up:

In addition, we've been shampooing carpets, touching up trim throughout the house, repairing little things that happen with a pile of kids, and rearranging rooms (we kicked Claire out of the office, so it could just be an office again, and we gave her daybed to Sophie and turned Sophie's into a trundle bed for Claire.) Phew!

What I really need though, are some good ideas for this room:

I don't really love the wood wall or the brick hearth (or the mess, but you have to look past that) paint or don't paint....what to do???

Halloween 2010

Haven't got pictures of all of us yet, we're missing Wonder Woman and the Incredible Hulk (my camera battery died, so I have to get them from a friend who took some with her camera), but here are the kids in costume:

By Request: An Exposition on Dr. Laura

Many people know I have a love/hate relationship with Dr. Laura - 20% love, 80% hate. So when she announced she would go off the air as of 2011, my first thought was, "Good riddance!" and my second was, "What am I going to listen to while I'm driving?"

On the pro side, I think she is often sensible and has a straight-talk way about her that some idiots seem to need to figure out their miserable lives. On the con side, I think she is rude, condescending, annoying, hypocritical, screechy and seems more inclined to reiterate her point of the day than to actually listen to the caller's question. She has an uncanny way of asking her own questions that don't have anything to do with the person's problem, and spinning it in such a way that she can make a point that she is obsessed with making. She interrupts people without apology but reams you up and down if you interrupt her. Oh, and she loves to harass women for being too bossy and demanding towards their hardworking husbands, but somehow I just cannot see her as being a sweet compliant 50's housewife herself. More like a whip-wielding dominatrix. And a million other loathsome qualities.

But like thousands of others I had a conundrum and thought, "What the hey - I'll call her up and see what she thinks." I asked her how to help my husband make better food choices so he would live long and prosper. And she's a bit of a fat-ist, so I knew she'd have an opinion. Assuming that I had married a child with no abilities or will of his own she gave me the useless answer to, "just feed him healthy food." Of course she wouldn't afford me the opportunity to explain that her answer was unhelpful because my husband was actually a big boy who could go to the grocery store all by himself and had the free will to choose not to eat the healthy vegetables I served. She hangs up on people who veer away from the point she wants to make so the listeners don't get confused by relevant facts.

Just to torture myself, I called her another time when I was concerned that our little doggy wasn't getting as much attention from the kids as I thought she needed. I explained that we got the dog under the assumption that the kids would play with her all the time, but that oftentimes it felt like she wouldn't get the attention I expected the kids to give her (and being a mom of 4 at the time, I didn't feel like I could add doggy playtime to my to-do list). She told me I was a bad mother for getting a dog for little kids. I think she thought I expected them to take care of the vet appointments and training and walks. Again, she wasn't interested in understanding the situation, but did want to make a point that parents should not expect kids to be responsible for pets. (And in case you are a dog-lover who is worried about our pet, rest assured I take care of her needs, and under the threat of letting another family adopt her, the kids do better now too).

Again, thanks, Dr. Laura, for not listening and for giving me advice I cannot use.

Change that to 10% love, 90% hate. Still, if she called me up and invited me to brunch, I'd gratefully accept and be nothing but sweet and agreeable the whole time. What is wrong with me??

To Sleep or Not To Sleep

Sometimes it takes a while for the girls to settle down after I send them to bed (I'm sure no one else has this problem...). So we introduced a new rule in which for every five minutes after I've declared "lights out" that I hear them still up they lose 10 points (points being their incentive program, they gain points for good behavior and chores, lose them for bad behavior, and can cash them in for money or computer time). So last night I snuck down the hallway to try and catch them talking. I stood outside their door for a couple seconds, was just about to burst in and yell "Busted!" when I heard Janelle softly say, "I love you, Brookie" and Brooke answer, "I love you too." Awwwwww :) I tiptoed away, glad to have witnessed that sweet moment.

Good Mom or Stubborn Control Freak?

On our way up to visit my sister and parents in Washington earlier this week, one of my delightful children (who shall remain nameless to spare her pride) took issue with her sister for putting her feet up by her head. I KNOW this scenario has played out in hundreds of minivans numerous times, but I wonder how many ended up like we did.
Because culprit A had leaned her seat back, culprit B couldn't get comfortable without putting her feet anywhere that didn't offend culprit A. So I suggested culprit A and B switch seats, especially since A insisted there were a number of ways for B to be comfortable without putting her feet up. Culprit A was not excited by my ingenious plan, and refused to be moved. So I gave her a warning and told her I would pull over and she would have to get out of the car until she was ready to cooperate. I tried to make it very clear that such a "time out" did not have to be long at all, just long enough for her to be ready and willing to cooperate, but it was too late. She was already beyond reasoning.
But so what? I can be more stubborn too and I don't want to give in to contentious kids, so when I came to a Fred Meyer parking lot, I pulled in, got her out of the car, and locked the doors with the rest of us inside. She proceeded to bang both fists on the windows screaming, "Let me in!" over and over. Passersby proceeded to watch with concern, and (not one to waste time) I proceeded to feed the baby while we waited. This was at 8:59 am.
One odd, well-meaning fellow on a bike looked particularly disturbed by her scene. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him, "She's throwing a fit, and I can't let her in until she calms down and apologizes." Then without charging me, he offered a psychiatric evaluation of her, suggesting that she might have something known as "broken child-syndrome". "Uh, thanks, I'll look into it." Another man walked by and gave me his best "You're a bad mother" look.
At 10:04 the inevitable happened. A police car pulled up behind us and asked what was going on. "I was wondering when you might show up," I muttered. I explained the situation yet again, and fortunately he could see I was not crazy, just that I had a stubborn daughter. These things don't happen all that often, and they usually blow over a lot quicker, but that morning was a biggie! The cop seemed surprised that it had all started with an argument about feet (I don't think he has kids), and that it had lasted over an hour. The shock of having a policeman talk to her seemed to snap culprit A out of her rotten mood, and she was all kindness and consideration the rest of the time.
Am I doing the right thing? I never know. I'd call Dr. Laura and ask her opinion, but I can't stand her, and besides she already told me I was a bad mother (that's a whole other story).

And the Answer is...

Eggnog.
What?!
The explanation as it was told to me:
"You know because 'eggnog' sounds like 'ignore' and this guy is ignoring the other guy."
Duh.

Win Cookies!

If you can guess what I was supposed to be able to guess from this picture I will give you a dozen cookies of your choice (unless you live too far away, in which case you get a giant pile of nothing). The hint was: food
(Limit seventy times seven guesses, no immediate family members may participate or give clues, answer will be given in one week's time or less if I get impatient.)